Safe to Fall Apart
I’ve heard it said that a child will save their meltdowns for their momma because the child feels safe with her, the child trusts their messiness in the face of unconditional love.
With that in mind, I’ve been considering the safety I have in ABBA’s steadfast love. I am safe to fall apart in His presence, and, maybe more so, the absolute meltdown of my own capacities is welcome!
It is there that God’s power is perfected in me.
When I fear I can stand no longer.
When the bubbling tide of emotions threatens to spill.
When I wrestle like a child bent on a tantrum, yet resolve with every last ounce of strength to hold on…
I am safe here in the arms of my Father, safe to fall apart.
The tantrums of my soul are merely a stepping stone to freedom when I release them into His capable hands. God promises to transform us, to sanctify us, and sometimes that looks like first falling apart.
There is no greater love. There is no finer place to be.
Tantrum and all, Lord I am coming!
Give ear to my prayer, O God,
and hide not yourself from my plea for mercy!
Attend to me, and answer me;
I am restless in my complaint and I moan,
because of the noise of the enemy,
because of the oppression of the wicked.
For they drop trouble upon me,
and in anger they bear a grudge against me.
My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fear and trembling come upon me,
and horror overwhelms me.
And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest;
yes, I would wander far away;
I would lodge in the wilderness; Selah (Psalm 55:1-7 ESV)
But I call to God,
and the LORD will save me.
Evening and morning and at noon
I utter my complaint and moan,
and he hears my voice.
He redeems my soul in safety
from the battle that I wage,
for many are arrayed against me.
God will give ear and humble them,
he who is enthroned from of old, Selah (Psalm 55:16-19 ESV)
Cast your burden on the LORD,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22 ESV)